Closing Time.

Couldn’t I think of a more creative title? How about “Good Riddance”? “Don’t You Forget About Me”? “The Graduation Song (Friends Forever)”?

I think “Closing Time” is suitable for this situation, I suppose.

Today was my last day at my internship. I know I haven’t written much about it (this is relatively new to me, ya know) but I’m sure in the next week I’ll go on a posting frenzy and talk about everything I’ve done here, all whilst crying in a bowl of Gorilla Munch cereal.

I worked at a print/online entertainment magazine for about two months–36+ hours a week. When I first went there I was terrified–I had little confidence in myself as a writer and always felt really uncomfortable just putting myself out there. It’s scary being around people that are so talented and well-known and I’m this little intern that waddles in not knowing what Drupal is or how to properly transcribe (still not that good at it..).

Over the weeks I became less scared and more confident with writing and taking initiative in the office. Some days were slow, but sitting in that environment for 9.5 hours four days a week were exhilarating nonetheless.

They even let me cover a few events, which is something I never imagined myself doing. I didn’t own a recorder (thank God for Best Buy) nor have I ever interviewed someone other than a college student or professor before. My first interview was with Michael C. Hall (for about three minutes, but still). The minutes leading up to it I had a full on panic attack for the first time since high school and was convinced I was going to just pass out/throw up during the interview. I took some deep breaths, put on my big girl panties (I always carry a few extra just in case I need some extra girl power) and followed the rep into a small room. Once I sat down on the couch I found myself not gushing over Dexter or asking him to slice my cheek, but having a conversation like a normal human being…and then promptly leaving.

I felt empowered! I met one of my favorite actors and found out that he was, in fact, human–like me.

My second event was at a fancy Los Angeles restaurant for an indie movie premiere party. There were actors and actresses there—notably Rashida Jones and Andy Samberg. I was once again anxious until I met with them face-to-face and thought, “Wow, they’re really nice people.”

People.

Working at the magazine made me realize a lot of things, but mainly this: actors, actresses, singers, etc are all just people. I began feeling sorry for celebrities every time I saw on Facebook what people were saying about them or the articles about crazy fans online (seriously…Justin Bieber fans are ridiculous). I kind of began to understand why celebrities would flip off the paparazzi or…you know, just punch them.

I learned how to report on celebrities in a respectful way, and avoid anything that wasn’t fact (or at least confirmed by their representative). I no longer had such a wary view on entertainment journalism, but in fact, enjoyed it.

Today, however, was my last day. I haven’t cried (yet), but I have bought a $7 chocolate covered strawberry from Godiva and ate some pasta (gluten free, of course).

After being there for 2 months, I probably didn’t make a huge impression on the company. I’m one person out of many interns, and many interns will come after me, and my name might just get lost in the emails one day. I recall a few days ago I said to another intern, “I’m afraid they’ll forget about me.” To which she responded, “They will. Just being honest.”

They may not remember me (although I hope they do!) but I will remember them. The two-month experience that woke up the confidence inside me and made me think and feel things I never thought I was able to before this (positive thoughts about myself? Who am I?).

The next few days will be spent packing up my small studio apartment into boxes and mailing them away. Saturday I’ll be hopping on a plane from LAX to TF Green and saying goodbye to the west coast for now, and returning to my low-middle class life on the east coast, working at a cashier in a department store. In September, I’ll have three more semesters at my school and I’ll graduate the end of summer ’13.

I feel kind of weird about it all right now and feel a bit ungrounded, but it’ll be nice to get away from the hustle and bustle for a month and see my friends (did I mention how much I miss them?). And who knows, maybe I’ll come back some day.

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