I’m baaaaaaaaaack.

It’s Britney bitch, and I’m back.

 

Hello followers, I haven’t seen you since…the great war.

*stares longingly into the distance*

Or since college, I guess. Same thing.

Since I want to do something with my degree other than wipe dust up with it, I said to myself, “Hey, Kelly, you should try blogging again” to which I replied, “Well, Kelly, who’s going to read it? How are you any different than any other ‘twenty-something’ that literally can’t even?” to which I said back, “Fuck if I know, but you might as well try.”

And here we are, thus creating Talking At Myself.

I’ll try to post regularly. I’ll try to refrain from telling you about how all I want to do is eat a whole sleeve of Oreos while sitting on my couch alone Netflix bingeing without a bra on and I haven’t showered in days and men are terrible and I just want cats and I LITERALLY CANNOT. CAN’T EVEN.

Give me a break, ladies.

I’ll catch you on the FLIPPITY FLIP. With a new post…coming up…

soon.

What do I want to do with my LIFE? (Part 1 of ~365)

Well, here it is. I’m at the infamous crossroads between adulthood and adulthood. Between college and “the real world.” Between headaches and bigger headaches.

You get the gist.

I’m currently graduating next month (August 12th if you want to be specific) and I am terrified. 

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I love going to school in Boston, but I’m moving back to the smallest (and possibly most boring state) at the end of August and trying to not be poor. Or something. Because right now I’m like 

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I’m getting my BA in writing, literature, and publishing so basically I’d like to think I have options…but then again at my little part time job every time I tell someone “Oh, I’m going into magazines/writing” they respond with something like, “Oh no sweetie, all the magazines are shutting down!”

Thanks.

But then sometimes people tell me how great it is that I can write and went to college and I feel like saying, “Oh well that’s all well and good, let’s hope I use my writing skills for more than filling out a Burger King application!” hyuck hyuck hyuck.

I guess it’s not really a problem of what I want to do, it’s basically where I want to do it. I already know what I want to do! I want to be able to write for a magazine, or online, and if that doesn’t work I am a great editor/copy editor (you know, when I’m not sitting at my blog in gym clothes eating a pb&j). 

I’ve seen things like this 

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from Slate

that show me that my best bet is in NYC. But here’s the thing: I don’t really want to live in NYC. Without getting too serious/depressing/boring, I don’t do very well with…seasons. I get kind of sad in the winter time, and want to head somewhere a little more sunny. And consistent. You know, like maybe California? LA is 2nd on that journalism job list, but there are probably over double the amount of opportunities in NYC than in LA. But when you read things on the internet about LA vs. NYC it’s hard to motivate yourself to think living in another city that’s dark and wet and cold for 1/3 of the year (or more?!) is appealing. 

At the same time, I think I’m young enough to make a “mistake” and spend some time in LA. Even if I hate it and move away, I mean hey, at least I made a mistake in LA. How bad could that be? Pretty bad for my wallet, but I mean…otherwise.

We’ll have to see where it goes. But for now, I’m stuck in Boston for another month so I may as well enjoy it.

If any of you readers here live in LA or NYC (or have lived in both?!) let me know your thoughts!

Hello, WordPress.

I’ve been using Tumblr since probably around 2010.

I’m not quite sure how I found it, but I was so entertained by the memes and the fact that you could quite literally find anything on Tumblr. It was a user-friendly Reddit or 4chan, I really didn’t need to go to anywhere else on the internet. News, movies, music, jokes–hell, there’s basically even porn on Tumblr (that has unfortunately, and accidentally popped up on my dash). Why did I need another website?

I created my internet persona in 2010, I believe–might have been earlier than that. There really wasn’t a profound reason for The Whitest Girl U’Know (note the obvious familiarity to The Whitest Kids U’Know). I went to a local college where, I guess, I said a lot of “white” things–it was a lot more diverse than my high school with probably 10 non-white kids in my grade. So a few of my friends would laugh and say, “you’re so white” and eventually “you’re the whitest girl I know.”

Cheesy, right?

I’m just really bad at making blog titles. Why can’t I just be Kelly? Kelly’s not witty, I thought. Kelly is just… a person. I needed something more interesting. No one’s going to go online and say, “I’m going to look for that girl Kelly’s blog.”

So after much thinking and unoriginality, I came up with “The Whitest Girl U’Know” and later changed it from U’ to You.

What a big step.

I did spend $20 on a GoDaddy domain though. God, is that stuff confusing.

Anyway.

So I’d write occasionally about whatever I thought people thought was funny. Note how I said how I wrote for other people.

I’d sit in my bed and wrack my brain and go, “What do people think is funny?” and I finally realized that the majority of people, I found, like cynical, snarky, negative things presented in a somewhat witty manner.

Not many people want to read, “10 reasons why I’m happy today”…most people laugh at other people’s expenses. Or like to say, “hey, that stuff annoys me too!” I’m not trying to generalize here, there are plenty of positive people that like reading positive things, but look at websites like Cracked, CollegeHumor, The Oatmeal, or even Thought Catalog–how much happy-go-lucky stuff is on there?

So I probably wrote on the site for a little over a year–it’s been a year this past December. I became increasingly tired of it and unmotivated and ran out of ideas. I felt like my life was a little deeper than “10 Things I Hate About —-” like, that’s fine once and a while, but after a bit I was like, “Who cares? Why do I care? Why am I writing this?”

I wanted to write about school, I wanted to write about people, I wanted to write about happy times and hard times and that just didn’t fit into the TWGUK/TWGYK/w/e persona. I felt like I was torn between this Tumblr person and myself. I felt this divide–I literally had at one point (and still have most of these things) a personal Tumblr, my TWGUK tumblr, a personal Twitter, TWGUK twitter, personal FB, TWGUK fan page, personal email, school email, TWGUK email…. it was too much! It is too much.

I mean, I’m not trying to say it wasn’t nice. I came to my new school and people seemed to like it. There was even “Kelly Face Day” where I was made into a meme to promote my blog. I had some fans. I had a good amount of Tumblr followers…but I wasn’t really into it. I had to force myself to write things and say “I’m going to write a post every other day so I can get an Evvy” (which is complete bull, by the way).

Spoiler alert: I didn’t get an Evvy. I submitted to the Best Blog (or whatever) category and I didn’t even get nominated. The Fashion Society blog won, because, you know, my school’s all about that stuff.

I’ve ignored it for a few months, and I’m in Los Angeles now at an internship. I’m getting tired of Thought Catalog and I’m getting tired of the same old recycled internet blog humor. I feel like individual people are much more interesting than they make themselves out to be.

So from now on, I’m going to be me. Myself. Kelly. And if that’s not interesting to people, then at least I can say I was genuine.