I’m baaaaaaaaaack.

It’s Britney bitch, and I’m back.

 

Hello followers, I haven’t seen you since…the great war.

*stares longingly into the distance*

Or since college, I guess. Same thing.

Since I want to do something with my degree other than wipe dust up with it, I said to myself, “Hey, Kelly, you should try blogging again” to which I replied, “Well, Kelly, who’s going to read it? How are you any different than any other ‘twenty-something’ that literally can’t even?” to which I said back, “Fuck if I know, but you might as well try.”

And here we are, thus creating Talking At Myself.

I’ll try to post regularly. I’ll try to refrain from telling you about how all I want to do is eat a whole sleeve of Oreos while sitting on my couch alone Netflix bingeing without a bra on and I haven’t showered in days and men are terrible and I just want cats and I LITERALLY CANNOT. CAN’T EVEN.

Give me a break, ladies.

I’ll catch you on the FLIPPITY FLIP. With a new post…coming up…

soon.

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Things I Wish People Told Me Before I Went to College

I recently graduated from good ol’ Emerson and am embarking on my job hunting journey (and by “journey” I mean I’m sulking in front of my macbook in my gym shorts) and realizing more and more that there are things I wish people told me before I went to this school.

Here are a few~~

1. You’re going to gain weight (and probably lots of it).

angry regina

Freshman year probably isn’t so bad because your diet mainly consists of alcohol (I mean, what?) and laxative-ish cafeteria food. Once you get the stupid classes out of the way (Writing 101, How to Speak in Front of People 102…) you spend more and more time…sitting. Sitting…and eating…especially if you’re in an apartment or a super fancy dorm with a kitchen.

My lovely boyfriend once said “people serious about school gain weight in college”–and I just say “smart people get fat in college.” It’s true though, for most people.

It’s extremely difficult to balance social life, extracurriculars, work, schoolwork, blahblahblahblahblah, sleep, and exercise. It’s hard! By the time you’re done with your work you just want to curl up in bed and sleep.

Don’t worry about it, though. Do your best and buy some sweats (not sweets) and resist the urge to sit at your computer, eat ice cream, and cry during finals time (or just do it…#YOLO).

2. Do extracurriculars or things that look like “experience” on your resume.

reese-witherspoon-election

I did a few extracurriculars and an internship in college and I probably have a year or two of experience total. I thought, “Oh man, I’m all set! I’m going to get all the jobs! I went to this great school and got good grades and yeah! Who wouldn’t want me on their staff?!!?!!?!!!11”

Then I went on monster.com (and indeed, and mediabistro, and jobscore, and kill me :'() and I have found that most of them are looking for 3+ years of experience.

Oh.

Maybe I should’ve done more clubs and been one of those crazy people that cry all the time and don’t sleep and do like 90 clubs a day…?

3. Save your money. Dammit. 

money-pile-breaking-bad

(Huell is reasonably happy about this picture.)

Resist buying the eco-friendly lavender organic humane vegan gluten free hand soap. Try not to spend $50 on drinks. Once you graduate, and you move back home with mom (or in my case…mom..brother..grandparents) you’re going to wish you didn’t buy all those games on Steam or dresses on the sale rack at Express.

4. Do an internship…or five.

Film Review The Internship

(I chose this picture because of the colorful bikes.)

I actually did this! Well, one. And God, I’m glad I did. Connections are so important…which reminds me…

5. Learn what “networking” means.

bears-shaking-hands

My freshman year of college I didn’t know what four loco was, let alone “networking.” But it’s important. Get advice from professors, get in touch with alum, make a LinkedIn profile. I’d say go to networking events but I’ve never been and they sound scary and I’m probably too socially awkward to go to one.

6. Produce things you can show your potential employers so they know you know what you’re doing.

elephant-painting-1

If you’re a film major, you need to produce more than a video you took on your iPod when you were 16. If you’re a writing major, well…write something. Keep a blog (something I didn’t have time for..oops), submit stuff to newspapers. Something that won’t make you look like a total derp.

7. Make room for you time

gamerKitten

…if you know what I mean 😉

Just kidding. There’s a certain point while you’re doing work and your brain just starts to fizzle out and you begin to crave gummy bears and want to curl up in a fuzzy blanket and sleep/die. Don’t push through it and become a psychotic, miserable mess. Take a five minute break, lie on your bed, look at some cat gifs, and then proceed.

Also, go out once and a while. I don’t mean go get $w@st3d and go to class, but try to have fun. After freshman/sophomore year shit usually starts to get real, but make sure to get some you time in there–no matter how you define it.

8. Looking for a job is going to suck regardless of how great [you think] you are.

Augh

Unless you’re one of those people who get a job the week after graduation. In that case,

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What do I want to do with my LIFE? (Part 1 of ~365)

Well, here it is. I’m at the infamous crossroads between adulthood and adulthood. Between college and “the real world.” Between headaches and bigger headaches.

You get the gist.

I’m currently graduating next month (August 12th if you want to be specific) and I am terrified. 

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I love going to school in Boston, but I’m moving back to the smallest (and possibly most boring state) at the end of August and trying to not be poor. Or something. Because right now I’m like 

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I’m getting my BA in writing, literature, and publishing so basically I’d like to think I have options…but then again at my little part time job every time I tell someone “Oh, I’m going into magazines/writing” they respond with something like, “Oh no sweetie, all the magazines are shutting down!”

Thanks.

But then sometimes people tell me how great it is that I can write and went to college and I feel like saying, “Oh well that’s all well and good, let’s hope I use my writing skills for more than filling out a Burger King application!” hyuck hyuck hyuck.

I guess it’s not really a problem of what I want to do, it’s basically where I want to do it. I already know what I want to do! I want to be able to write for a magazine, or online, and if that doesn’t work I am a great editor/copy editor (you know, when I’m not sitting at my blog in gym clothes eating a pb&j). 

I’ve seen things like this 

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from Slate

that show me that my best bet is in NYC. But here’s the thing: I don’t really want to live in NYC. Without getting too serious/depressing/boring, I don’t do very well with…seasons. I get kind of sad in the winter time, and want to head somewhere a little more sunny. And consistent. You know, like maybe California? LA is 2nd on that journalism job list, but there are probably over double the amount of opportunities in NYC than in LA. But when you read things on the internet about LA vs. NYC it’s hard to motivate yourself to think living in another city that’s dark and wet and cold for 1/3 of the year (or more?!) is appealing. 

At the same time, I think I’m young enough to make a “mistake” and spend some time in LA. Even if I hate it and move away, I mean hey, at least I made a mistake in LA. How bad could that be? Pretty bad for my wallet, but I mean…otherwise.

We’ll have to see where it goes. But for now, I’m stuck in Boston for another month so I may as well enjoy it.

If any of you readers here live in LA or NYC (or have lived in both?!) let me know your thoughts!